Courageous
[Original post from Thursday, November 5th, 2015]
Feeling over anxious about starting my 7th (and final) go at a new treatment for this stupid disease. Had to listen to my kids tears tonight on the phone because they don't understand and want mommy to come home. I'm 3000 miles away from them. I have to miss Jessa's 13th birthday. We're getting blindsided with additional costs that we hadn't planned and saved for because we didn't know, and I was was told 3 different times today "oh man, your scans are bad, do they think it will still work?"
Part of me just wanted to throw in the towel. A big part of me if I'm being authentic. It's too much, the boulder on my back is too heavy and I'm all alone. Then someone called saying someone was dropping off food to Cory and the kids, and someone else called saying they were going to babysit and help. It reminded me that I'm not doing this for me, this fight is for all of you. My family, my kids, my friends, my church, and my God. I am not, and never have been alone. I have an army fighting behind me that I am so blessed and thankful for.
Today I got got dozens and dozens of encouraging messages and calls. People in my corner fighting, and pleading, praying, warring. This journey sucks and battles have been lost, but we WILL win this war. Time to search even deeper down and be #courageous. Let's do it.... #Imreadynow #wewar #20soc #stupidcancer #nyc #miracleshappeneveryday #TEAMAMANDA
Part of me just wanted to throw in the towel. A big part of me if I'm being authentic. It's too much, the boulder on my back is too heavy and I'm all alone. Then someone called saying someone was dropping off food to Cory and the kids, and someone else called saying they were going to babysit and help. It reminded me that I'm not doing this for me, this fight is for all of you. My family, my kids, my friends, my church, and my God. I am not, and never have been alone. I have an army fighting behind me that I am so blessed and thankful for.
Today I got got dozens and dozens of encouraging messages and calls. People in my corner fighting, and pleading, praying, warring. This journey sucks and battles have been lost, but we WILL win this war. Time to search even deeper down and be #courageous. Let's do it.... #Imreadynow #wewar #20soc #stupidcancer #nyc #miracleshappeneveryday #TEAMAMANDA
Love you-
ReplyAmanda, you have SOOO many people behind you. Your entire "family" at Sandra's is routing for you. We want to help but also know it's hard sometimes a lot of help for you to have to ask for help or organize getting the help. My heart is so heavy right now with thoughts of you, Cory and your precious children. Does your family or church have a site set up for you of how we can schedule meals, help with the kids, errands, whatever??? I know we wall want to help in any way that is helpful. You are such a fighter, such a positive force in all our lives, even the ones that don't know you well. We love you and hope to lift you up.
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